How to manage your parenting stress

In light of April being Child Abuse Prevention Month, I wanted to share some tips to help you keep your cool in the most stressful moments of parenting.  Parenting is a joy, but many times it can also be very stressful.  

Why should you manage your stress?

• Because you will be able to enjoy your children more
• Because your children learn to deal with their stress from watching how you manage stressful moments
• Because it will improve your overall mood and health
• Because you can!

So how do you manage your stress level relative to your children?

• Learn to use a technique I call, “Smell the Roses” – First, breath in deep as if you are smelling roses from a garden and then exhale big as if you are blowing out birthday candles.  This visual and tactile strategy is a great one to teach your children for times they feel like “exploding,” too!
• Learn to say “no” to events and tasks that increase your stress and anxiety about time because your children need lots of time or they will begin to push your “hot buttons.”
• Remember your child’s age and ability – children don’t have the ability to use reasoning skills proficiently until well into age six or beyond.  You can’t reason with a toddler or preschooler, but you can model the behaviors you want to see and they will come back to you like a mirror image.
• Be positive – this alone will bring you and everyone around you peace and harmony.
• When you have nothing nice to say, leave the room… smell the roses…reenter the room when everyone is calm and talk about how you both felt during the “invasion” of the “ooglies” in your heads.  Let your children know that “ooglies” get in your head sometimes too and cause you to make bad choices.  Talk about how you can know they are there and get rid of them.  When we feel the “ooglies” coming… maybe we can use deep breathing or close our eyes to make them go away.  Make sure it is a visual prompt so your child will know that the “ooglies” are getting in your head and you must stop them from causing you to make bad choices by doing whatever your defined ritual is and your child will begin using this strategy and self-regulating better as well.